yesterday was my mom's birthday, and i'm finding myself a little lost today. (no, not about LOST, but did anyone else watch tuesday's episode? i love richard!!) i guess i didn't realize that getting pregnant and preparing to be a mom would make me miss my own. there's so many things i wish i could ask her about her pregnancies, and about what to expect, and what to do, and if she liked being pregnant, if she swelled, how much weight she gained, how her blood pressure was, why the insides of my legs cramp like crazy. the list goes on and on. i recently told daniel that all this baby stuff was making me miss her - and i know it's probably hard on him too...his dad isn't here, either. i hate that emilee will only have one grandparent - it's really hard for me to accept, especially given the relationship i have with my own. the more involved daniel's mom gets in the pregnancy and emilee's upcoming arrival, the more i miss my mom. weird, right? i think i'm slightly delusional...lol. i know that my mom was far from perfect in oh, so many ways. but she was still mine. she may not have always gotten the mom thing right, but i do think she would have loved her granddaughter - and it would have been fun to see them interact. i hope i can find a way to point out the positive things about my mom to emilee some day when she's old enough to understand. in some ways, i guess i just wish she could say she was proud of me...
on a more sunny topic, saturday was my baby shower, and it was everything i had hoped for. my friends did an amazing job pulling it off. we got soooooooo much stuff. we got almost everything we need for emilee, and then some. i still need to pick up a few odds and ends, but the stuff we got will go a long way with preparing for her arrival. here are some pics:
me and the bestest friends ever: jill (also pregnant), manda, me, and mandi
my family - sister misty, aunt brenda, mommaw betty, me, aunt angie, cousin rachel
my pretty cake - which was also awesome tasting!!! (sam's club, people. seriously)
the cake table with the diaper cake, made exclusively by manda!
me and the hubby...he needs to shave lol.
You're so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteMy best friend's mom passed away when she was very young. It happened about 6 months before she met her hubby...and now she has a little boy. There are ways to keep the memory alive...I wish you well with that and send uber positive thoughts and love. I don't know personally that kind of loss, but I do see it in my sis. I feel for ya.
aww I think it's normal to be feeling all of those things- being pregnant and it being around your mom's birthday are just making those feeling all the more noticeable. BIG HUGS and I love the shower pics...you look great, cant wait to see your lil girl! :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteI feel ya on the Mom stuff, friend. I often think one of the reasons I'm not anxious to have kids of my own is because my mom isn't around anymore and my dad's grumpy and unloving. I didn't have grandparents growing up and I always wish I could have met them. It's natural to want your mom around during all the big times in your life, and this is one of the biggest! Looks like you have a great support system in place though and Emilee will be one super-loved little girl :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on 100 posts! I hope to make it there soon myself. 2nd - LOVE LOST! LOVE RICHARD! I wanted that episode to go another hour.
ReplyDeleteSo happy you had a wonderful shower. The pictures are nice and you look fabulous! Also loved the cake!
How exciting! You look so happy! Your time is getting closer. How are you feeling?
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